Sorry, but, semi-pro nit picker here. It looks like in frame 11 she’s impacting in her roll on the right knee and right side of her forehead. Then in 12 they’re on the left. Reversed topologically. I really love your artwork and storytelling and hate to shoot holes in it. I can’t wait each week to see what happens next.
Thanks, no problem, I consider notes like this purely helpful, you’re right of course. In my mind she was tumbling around a few times, but of course that’s not what ends up being communicated. I’ll have a look and see if I can change something to make it better 🙂
Well both her knees are bloodied and we can’t see her [stage] right temple because of her hair. In fact we see on frame 11 that she first hit her right knee and now we see her left knee is just as bad, so I certainly read it that she had taken a serious tumble.
I don’t think you really need to change anything but if you must, then a bit more obvious blood on her [stage] right shoulder and hip. Maybe make that shoulder of her t-shirt a bit more ripped . That should be enough.
Sorry I forgot to mention, on Sunday or Monday I added the blood on the other knee, and the shoulder rip, just to make it more logical according to Arthur’s feedback. 🙂
adding more rip could be good too, I’ll think about it. Actually I think I’ll add some more rips in the next couple pages 🙂
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